I've awakened early today. My son and his wife still sleep, and I've slipped into the living room to spend a few minutes in reflection. In a few hours I will bid my son and his wife goodbye and begin the journey back to my "normal" life. As always, this journey has been tranqformative. Yesterday, I spent the afternoon with Debbie, who had been my best friend from seventh grade through high school. Our lives are radically different, so I was surprised to realize that they are running much more parallel these days.
She feels a call. She's taken early retirement and currently spends her days in preparation. She doesn't yet know exactly how her call will be shaped, but she has created space in her life for prayer and meditation. She seeks that which is yet unnamed, but I could see it in her. As I see it in myself. She may be a little ahead of me, but I have my own echoing of a call, which is actually far more formed. I returned to school and got my degree in answer to that call. Indeed, Cameron and I plan to move to the Portland, OR area, and I feel that call growing stronger. These days I imagine the beginnings of our call to the people who we will serve in our private practice and in our spiritual lives. They are also preparing for us to arrive. They just don't know it yet.
OK, I do know how goofy that all sounds. But we don't have the words in the English language for the thoughts I want to convey. Sigh. But as Debbie described the places she needed to be spiritually, I got it. I feel it too. I imagine the days when I sit on my porch and watch the water of the Sandy flow. I want to know it's moods, it's changes of season, it's temperament. I want to watch the shift of the snow on the mountain, sometimes seeing the snow reach my own porch. I want to listen to the wind as it whistles its changes. I want to linger in front of the fireplace, and sip hot chocolate. I want to create a space for healing, where people may come for spiritual direction, for therapy, for art. I can see the rooms and almost taste the air.
In the meantime, I have another year of my internship to finish. We have to wait the financial means to manifest. Cameron has to complete her practicum and graduate. So we have another year to prepare and to wait. And today, I drive from Arkansas to Atlanta. Tomorrow I will drive home, to wrap my arms around the person I love and miss. I'm ready.