The aching weariness fades after a weekend of magick. Story Teller, your kind, friendly hand gave me hope. You pulled your stories from your pocket, and now I know that magick is still there. My pocket has filled, my colors are renewed and I hold the magick in my hands and my heart.
Every year Cameron and I attend GAFilk. This year my spirit needed replenishment, a soothing of the fear and anxiety of our recent journey. I was actually a little nervous of meeting Alexander James Adams, the guest of honor of this year. As Cameron explores her trans status, I have walked with alternating fear and calmness, sometimes simultaneously. When a transwoman was guest this summer in my Sex Therapy I was unexpectedly frozen, unable to ask questions when faced with the reality of transition. Meeting Alissia has been an amazing blessing and gone a long way to calm my anxiety. But she is clear across the nation, and sometimes instant messages can only go so far.
I loved Heather Alexander. Her clear, vibrant voice held me entranced. I had only met her in books, music, video and online sources. Yet her message of hope and faith in magick had gotten me through many challenges. So I had a hard time imagining what it would be like to be faced with the man who had become her heir. I needn't have worried.
Drawn like a lass to a fairy ring, I returned again and again to the chair beside Alec's dealer table. The first day I asked many, many questions. The second day I just listened. Alec transitioned three years ago, and says he is three years old. Apparently Kori, his wife, is a very patient woman. After hearing the story of his primal "Sasquachy" story of the woods, I'm convinced she's a goddess. Facing the transition in one's identity can be gut wrenching and terrifying. When a partner walks through the transition with the transperson, identity changes because of someone else. As a woman thriced divorced and once widowed, I happily assumed the identity of lesbian. Perhaps the shift of identity offered redemption, renewal, a new beginning. Certainly the world perception of me would shift yet again if I became recognized as heterosexual again.
Sitting at the side of that table for hours allowed me to connect with a transman whose self honesty, humor and magick offered me transformation. I could share in the humanness, the depth of person and personality that allowed me to see the qualities my own partner posses and would carry forward no matter her hormones or outward appearance.
Alec renewed my joy in magick. As he pulled tales from his pocket I laughed, I touched the magick, I believed. My heart has warmed and I have touched the magick within.
Blessed be, Story Teller. May the Lady and Lord fill your pockets with magick and joy. Know that you are are loved and held in perfect love and perfect trust.