I have been working in methadone treatment since Sep 10, 2008. I started out working the front desk, taking money. Six months of hell later, I was promoted to a counselor. I was given a caseload the same day I began seeing clients as a student therapist. I worked for a greedy man who profited 3 million a year (yes, the foolish man let his accountant fax his tax return to the work address while I was standing there). Pay raises were irregular, but sneaked to me now and then when others didn't get them. The organization was obviously profit seeking and unprofessional, and when a new clinic opened last year, I made the jump. Note that my check bounced three times before I sent out my resume. Not that because he didn't have the money to cover payroll, but because he didn't leave anything in his business account. So the bouncing was due to carelessness, best I could tell. And over spending in his personal life. Islands in the Bahama's are not cheap, at least not to me.

The promised 3.5% annual raises, 4 weeks PTO, and six months after starting, the intern director said I would be groomed to become the director. My monthly stats are consistently 90% and above, I have taken on additional responsibilities, and work a lot of overtime to get the extras done as well as my own responsibilities. The director runs another 800 population clinic in another state. He's supposed to be in our clinic two days a week, but its more like 3-4 times a month. Recently I learned my promotion is not in next year's budget, there's no real plan to promote me any time soon, and the business owner says the director "overstepped himself" in offering me the promotion. My theory is the promise was just a way to get him out of our clinic several days a month, and that when things are running this well from a business perspective, there's no intensive to change. 

Worse, despite passing our national certification with no recommendations (meaning with flying colors), high marks on everyone's report cards, and all of our hard work (a new clinic is 20 times harder than one that's been open for 10 years, I now know), we were not given pay raises (all the other clinics they own got their raises, despite one's less than adequate performace); we weren't profitable enough? Since I track population and who's paying, I'd say it's greed. They wanted a profit and payoff this year despite some business decisions they made that cost the clinic). While I have many speculations (and facts) for why, I won't put them here. Unlike my previous clinic, I won't be given one quietly on the sly, either. While it is a much more professionally run clinic on many levels, the lack of raises and the promised promotion have broken my heart.

Put that on the back burner. Side note:

BTW the above is what happened to my blogging over the last couple of years. With the chronic fatigue syndrome, I was so thin I worked, slept, ate, and worked some more. My hobbies, my writing and my art largely went to the wayside. Due to financial constraints, we gave up cable tv and I haven't even noticed.

Let's get out another pot.

About six months the PD (program director) needed to hire another counselor. In methadone, the ideal caseload is 50 patients. Given that it's a new clinic, with the majority needing intensive time and attention, it should be much lower. We were up to 70-75. Since he was "training me" I helped go through resumes, we talked about hiring practices, and I participated in the interview. I was introduced to our future employee as the future program director. That obviously hasn't happened, and isn't happening any time soon and the people around me know it. Matter of fact, a new position was created for the business owner's pet, and she has been appointed the clinic "point person". The director assured me at the time it did not affect my promotion. Uh huh. I got a bridge for sale. 

Put that on the back burner.

So our new employee was contacted by one of her contacts in the field about a few positions coming open in several local practices. $40 an hour, 32 hours a week (in private practice you don't really get paid for the paperwork so 8 additional hours would be set aside for that). The particular opening that caught my interest is an a pediatrician's office (she is there one day a week).

Let's stir the pot. 

I took business practices in grad school. In fact, Cam came across my business plan a month ago or so. I had given up on the idea of private practice because I don't have the necessary local contacts. I'm not known in the community, don't hang out with doctors and other practitioners. Methadone's kind of a red headed step-child in the substance abuse and agency world. And the business owner was ready to hire me sight unseen because of my recommendations and previous training in child therapy. We graduated from the same school, had the same teachers and training. She knew what I knew. She even rewrote the contract to accommodate my needs.

Let's put it all together. 

I'm sitting on my deck, something I've only managed 4-5 times this year, blogging. I have a week's vacation. When I go back to work, I'll be working 5am - 1 pm at the clinic. Then half an hour away, I'll start seeing children in the afternoons 2-7. When they have 25 hours a week for me, I make the move full time. I start next Tuesday. Given that they already have scheduled 5 hours for me, I think it'll build. In fact, she needed 3 people for this office. Until the my caseload and one other's is full, she's not bringing on the 3rd, though she's been hired. Based on last year, she has no doubt she'll fill our schedules quickly.

I once dreamed about working with children and their families. That dream is about to come true. 

Reflections and Snow

I work one Saturday out of every 4 or 5. Everyone dreads those Saturdays, even though we're only there a couple of hours. This Saturday was particularly challenging because Cameron and I stayed up late last night. Cameron's Dad had told her that there was a new projector system at the Planetarium, and it sounded like fun because last night's show was to be about astronauts. Lack of money, work, school, practicum and such have seriously deprived us of a social life these last four years. It was only $5, so we went. It was awesome! I had forgotten, however, how steep the school bus steps can be. Wow. But once I survived the school bus shuttle, the experience was impressive. I never experienced that kind of show before. Cameron's tummy, due to her lack of inner ear bones, didn't do so well with the Mars roller coaster. Or maybe that was a good excuse for a milk shake on the way home.

So I slept in till 4 am because Saturdays at work are casual. With the potential for the worst winter storm in 20 years to roll through Sunday and Monday, all the clients were concerned about getting their medication and safety. Unfortunately, Scrooge had to make a judgement call yesterday, when we could contact clients who were't in the clinic, to warn them to pick up today. He decided he'd be open Monday and closed Tuesday. With the winter weather predictions rolling in, I called clients to warn them to be at the clinic when it opens Monday. However, the weather predictions suggest most of won't make to the clinic on Monday, no matter how early.

I brought Cameron a croissant and we had breakfast before she headed to school for the day. Her class will likewise have to make some decisions as they scheduled for Monday and Tuesday night. Jan term classes only last a month, so they don't have much opportunity to make time up.

When she left, I headed to the post office. A lovely woman bought a Celtic necklace off my Etsy site. Who ever heard of not opening the post office window until 10? But it did give the opportunity to visit with some lovely ladies who likewise were stuck waiting. One was from New York and described several storms with 5-10 feet of snow. Her best story was when her husband was determined to get out and make it the corner grocery. She asked him to bring back something sweet. He bought donuts, but the fight through the snow left them in crumbles. She laughed and said they were delicious eaten with a spoon.

Necklace mailed, I came home to take a nap. That is, until I heard the updated weather report. I promptly headed to the storage building to search for fire starter, logs, etc. Found the camp stove. Paranoia? Maybe. But four years ago we went without power for 9 days. The weather channel is warning of possible loss of power with the snow and freezing rain. We're usually one of the last to be restored because we so far from town. Maybe I can talk Cameron into buying some wood on the way home.

Burn Out: Crispy Critter

I thought that once classes ended, I would return to a normal schedule and rejoin the world of the living. I had looked forward to writing in my blog more, as well as many more important activities. I had underestimated the effect of four years of graduate school, the practicum, and working from 5am - 1pm five days a week, with occasional Saturday mornings thrown in. I've actually been getting up at 3:45 for more than two years for this job. A few years prior to this job, I worked as a fast food restaurant manager also getting up at the same hours to drive 45 minutes to work. The years have taken their toll.

Of course, rather than taking a vacation this year, we started Designs by Dreamweaver. I used every vacation day driving to festivals, setting up and selling. I used every minute possible in between festivals creating more jewelry. I estimate I sold over 500 pendants this summer, in addition to about 100 other items. Given that the pendants are made of polymer clay and labor intensive, that's a lot of work for $8 each.

So here I am, graduated from our Marriage and Family Therapy program, a licensed intern, and awaiting change. Cameron and I are expecting huge changes in our lives soon. My plan? I've secured a volunteer position at Rape Crisis/Safe Homes in our town where I'll do 5 hours of therapy a week in exchange for supervision. If  I increase that to 15, it would be sufficient to meet licensure requirements. So if our investment pays off adequately, I dream of working there as a volunteer for a couple of years...with more dreams to be discussed later once Cameron graduates.

In the meantime, I am a crispy critter. I did not realize how burned out I was until I realized that the exhaustion should have lifted with the end of festivals -- and hasn't. Of course, work is also extremely stressful. Holidays intensify addictions. I've also been chronically sick, with every cold my clients bring me and the return of my dysthemia. And our boss sold the clinic -- if the sale goes through. Without the payoff of this investment, it'll be a long time until I get time for a vacation. I'm due to gain two weeks Feb 2. That's when the new owners are supposed to take over -- I'll earn 4.8 hours paid time off per pay period with the sale. So much for the vacation!

So with all that I am, I am sending a call to the universe that our dream might be realized, that Cameron and I might have the financial means to fulfill our callings. I vow to sleep, rest, and serve until I am wholly healed, mind, body and spirit.

Blessed be.

Checking out the Competition

Headed to Barnyard Flea Market today to check out the competition! Notebook in hand, I have a list of the regular jewelry dealers. I plan to follow up on a report that no one does the kind of work I do. My work involves a lot of glass focal pieces strung with seed beads, accent beads, etc. Most folks selling these focal pieces stick them on string or ribbon.

This afternoon we have a date with Misbeavin'. Going to draw upon her artistic and business skills to set up a website to sell my work, as well as to do some photography. New display boards and camera are waiting in the car.

And today I'm more motivated than ever. The Boss Man owns a multimillion dollar business. This year he's taken a pleasure trip every month --this month was a week in Vegas. My immediate boss left him messages all week reminding him of the payroll. I had to use half an hour of comp time waiting around for my check to arrive yesterday. Because of the recent water leak (still have to pay very steep bill despite the discount), I wanted cash to go to the water company. So I went to a branch of my boss' bank to cash the check. It bounced!

 A few phone calls later, I figured out that payroll was in the previous day's intake. (I've always known his money handling was a bit odd.) Apparently it takes a bank an extra step to process payroll, so the Boss' branch bank had to be called to speed it up. In fact, my pissed-off boss called the bank president and twenty minutes later I had my money. I'm still deeply disturbed that my well being depends upon such unethical practice. Shouldn't a business this large have a nice balance in case of any unexpected bills? The building is paid for.

So finding a second source of income seems increasing imperative. I've worked for companies that bounced checks. Don't care to repeat the experience.