Like half of America, I watched last Tuesday night with fear and trepidation. Last spring I married my partner of 13 years, despite swearing I was waiting until the election results were clear. I feared what I happened in California, when gay people went to bed one night married,and woke the next morning not. Then I became angry. Angry at the fear. Angry at bigotry. Angry that human rights are still questioned, and married my partner in a court house ceremony. Half way into the night, I knew Hillary would loose, but couldn't face it.
I wasn't going to blog my thoughts. I wasn't going to risk an unfortunate backlash if my blog is actually traced to my real identity which could complicate employment, safety, etc. But after watching brave people march, others take a stand, and news reporters expressing real concern for the freedom of the press, I realized that sometimes we have to put it out there. So here I am. And here I will continue to be.
I've heard negativity regarding the Clintons most of my life. I grew up in AR listening to the adults talk about Bill Clinton and the horrible things he and Hillary supposedly did to the Arkansas education system, for example. Many years later I learned teachers in AR were functionally illiterate. The teachers were required to take a test which basically tested literacy. What was the problem????
This fall I started researching. I read books, articles, and internet sources about both candidates. It was impossible to compare policy because Trump didn't have one. His self admittance of narcissism, multiple bankruptcies and extreme count of lawsuites (3500). I read about Hillary, and while I don't understand all of her choices, I read about a woman who has answered her calling. A woman who really is a bleeding heart liberal who wants to do good.
I still can't make sense of America's vote. I continue to read and research, Having read Hilly Billy Elegy by JD Vance this weekend, maybe I have the beginning of an understanding.
On a personal note, I have never felt more at risk. I never thought my education would become a dangerous liability. Or that women really would risk dying again if Roe v Wade is struck down. Or loosing my marriage if they somehow manage a retroactive antigay marriage stance. Or the unforeseen complications of a Republican Supreme Court, House, Senate and President.
May God have mercy on our country. And may have a country left at the end of this president's term (s). And for the record. He's not my president.