Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Where I am Now....

I seem to be waiting...change creeps along, promising transformation. But life happens while we wait. I continue to work as a substance abuse counselor. I never stop marveling at the stories, the lies, the illusions and the surprises my client present on a daily basis.

I'm also working with Safe Homes Rape Crisis as a therapist. My hours of service pay for my supervision to complete my licensure requirements.

I miss blogging. I miss the words, the keyboard yielding thoughts, ideas, and moments of transformation. But exhaustion dogs my steps, and the most I seem to manage is pushing a mouse around Facebook games. Maybe this weekend, for a few moments, I can find my voice. My best friend called saying her daughter was experiencing life in high gear, and the results were not good. The Fiber Geek is New Jersey for a couple days more, so tomorrow I drive to Atlanta to spend some time with her adult daughter and grandson.

The next few days promise to be interesting.


  1. "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans” Spoken with a Liverpool British accent - John Lennon. We seem to be living in a crystaline suspension of change at this time. We are so close to many of the dreams and hopes and plans we've had all along the way possibly becoming a daily reality. Waiting is. It feels a little panicky - like a moth in a jar we struggle to fly and we wonder if we break free too late, that perhaps our wings will remain stunted and shaped by the barriers we have flown against so long...but that is an illusion born in the womb of panic and struggle. Someday, we will look back at this time as the pivotal step between everything that was and everything that comes after. Transformation is never completed, because it always starts over, reborn at every stage...but there are surely moments when one stage ends and another begins. And those times are always powerful and interesting...if not always fun. But we're almost there. We really are. And meanwhile, life does continue. It goes on. We live and breathe and accomplish things, and take joy in life. I miss you. Come home soon, okay? *hugs*

  2. We are so rarely apart, beloved, that I feel as if a essential part of myself is missing when we are. I suppose some folks would call us enmeshed, but would argue that is not accurate, either. It feels as if our differences lend our life spice and interest. But being apart for a few days, however pleasant, still contain an absence. I'm okay in the absence, but still aware of it.

    You are my heart. While I breath with you not present today, I'm more truly myself when I am with you.